Sexual education refers to equipping individuals with scientific knowledge, correct experiences, and sound attitudes towards sexual matters, to the extent permitted by their physical, physiological, psychological, emotional, and social development, and within the framework of religious teachings, societal norms, and prevailing moral values. This enables individuals to navigate sexual situations effectively and address their sexual concerns in a realistic manner, contributing to their psychological well-being.
In this sense, sexual education is not about teaching sex; rather, it aims to guide individuals of both genders towards sexual matters from a religious and moral perspective, helping them understand the physical changes they experience and preventing them from resorting to haphazard learning from peers or through harmful experiences that may occur when they lack proper guidance.
At what developmental stage should sex education begin?
Stages and Progression of Sexual Education: I used to be among those who opposed starting sexual education at a young age. However, the widespread proliferation of internet platforms, which children access at a very young age, makes it imperative to provide children with age-appropriate information. Some have gone to extremes by suggesting that sexual education should begin at birth, believing they are pioneers in this field. However, the reality that contradicts their claims is that Islam was the first to emphasize this, as it has cared for the child from birth by making circumcision a part of the natural fitrah and a Sunnah of the Prophet. Interestingly, the West has only recently discovered the importance of circumcision in preventing diseases and infections that can affect both men and women. As narrated in both Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'The fitrah consists of five things: circumcision, removing pubic hair, cutting the mustache, trimming the nails, and plucking the armpit hair.
The First Stage: Between the Ages of 7 and 10
This is an elementary stage where boys and those who have not yet reached puberty are taught practical rulings, especially those related to prayer and ablution, and are trained to perform them correctly. This includes learning about the conditions for prayer, the things that invalidate ablution, and the rules of purity, as well as fasting. Of course, the discussion of purity and ablution naturally leads to explaining what invalidates them and how to purify oneself. Additionally, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Separate them in their beds." (Reported by Abu Dawud). This emphasizes the importance of separating children of different genders.«وفرِّقوا بيْنهم في المضاجِع»
Direct translation: And in it, children learn the etiquette of seeking permission; as Allah Almighty says:{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لِيَسْتَأْذِنكُمُ الَّذِينَ مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ وَالَّذِينَ لَمْ يَبْلُغُوا الْحُلُمَ مِنكُمْ ثَلاثَ مَرَّاتٍ مِن قَبْلِ صَلاةِ الْفَجْرِ وَحِينَ تَضَعُونَ ثِيَابَكُم مِّنَ الظَّهِيرَةِ وَمِن بَعْدِ صَلاةِ الْعِشَاء ثَلاثُ عَوْرَاتٍ لَّكُمْ لَيْسَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَلا عَلَيْهِمْ جُنَاحٌ بَعْدَهُنَّ طَوَّافُونَ عَلَيْكُم بَعْضُكُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ كَذَلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمُ الآيَاتِ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ} [النور: 58].
And lowering the gaze, meaning refraining from looking at what is forbidden, as Allah Almighty says:{قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ} [النور: 30]
A supportive and healthy environment from birth is crucial for a child's normal sexual development. Conversely, a family environment that suppresses healthy sexual development can lead to the onset and accumulation of sexual problems, which may surface during adolescence and result in sexual deviations.
The Second Stage: Between the ages of 10 and 18, the previously introduced concepts are consistently reinforced, and the physiological changes occurring in adolescents are explained. During this stage, it is crucial for parents and teachers to collaborate in providing accurate information to adolescents, addressing any perplexing questions they may have within a sound legal framework. It would be beneficial to introduce a curriculum at this stage to enlighten students and simultaneously caution them against behaviors that contradict the divine law, such as those prohibiting approaching fornication, as Allah Almighty says:وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاء سَبِيلاً} [الإسراء: 32].
Therefore, Islamic education for adolescents regarding sexual desire focuses on blocking all avenues that stimulate desire inappropriately. This prevents young men and women from experiencing psychological distress and redirects their energy towards other goals, encouraging them to transcend these desires until the appropriate time. When the circumstances are suitable, we encourage them to marry. Additionally, adolescents must always remember that they have certain relatives whose honor they must protect, as emphasized in the Prophet's saying: "A young man came to the Prophet and asked, 'O Messenger of Allah, may I commit adultery?' The people were agitated, but the Prophet said, 'Leave him, come here, my nephew.' He then sat him down beside him and asked, 'Would you like it if someone did that to your mother?' He replied, 'No, O Messenger of Allah.' The Prophet said, 'Neither do other people like it done to their mothers.' The Prophet repeated this for several relatives, then placed his hand on his chest and prayed for him."
Islamic education aims to cultivate chastity and purity in individuals.{وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحاً حَتَّى يُغْنِيَهُمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ} [النور: 33].
The Third Stage: 18 years old and above. Here, the role of knowledgeable and eloquent parents comes into play in comprehensively explaining the meaning of marriage and sexual relations. According to Ibn Abbas, Umar came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I am doomed." The Prophet asked, "What has doomed you?" Umar replied, "I journeyed by night." The Prophet did not respond. Then Allah revealed this verse: {نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ} [البقرة: 223]،
Approach with modesty and avoid inappropriate behavior, especially during menstruation."
The Prophet Muhammad encouraged modesty and respect in marital relations, as evidenced by the hadith: 'Approach with modesty and avoid inappropriate behavior, especially during menstruation.'"
Highlighting the significance of procreation in sustaining humanity and outlining the mutual responsibilities between spouses, this education also emphasizes the importance of sexual health. Medical professionals should play a key role in providing comprehensive sex education to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
Sex education aims to equip young people with the knowledge and skills they need to make informed decisions about their sexual health. It involves open and honest conversations between parents and children about sexuality, relationships, and personal boundaries. By creating a supportive and nurturing environment, we can help young people develop healthy attitudes towards sexuality and avoid harmful behaviors. This responsibility is shared by parents, educators, and the community as a whole.
The Islamic view on how sex education relates to sexual activity.
In his famous book "The Quran, the Torah, the Bible, and Science," Dr. Maurice Bucaille discusses the Quran's approach to sex education. He argues that the Quran, revealed 14 centuries ago, provides detailed instructions for everyday life, including sexual behavior.
And as examples of this, he says: "Quranic verses refer to the behavior of men in their intimate relationships with their wives in various circumstances," mentioning the necessary behavior during menstruation, as indicated by verses 222 and 223 of Surat Al-Baqara.
{وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ المَحِيضِ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَاعْتَزِلُوا النِّسَاءَ فِي المَحِيضِ وَلاَ تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّى يَطْهُرْنَ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ المُتَطَهِّرِينَ * نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ وَقَدِّمُوا لأَنفُسِكُمْ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّكُم مُّلاقُوهُ وَبَشِّرِ المُؤْمِنِينَ} [البقرة: 222، 223].
For Islam provides practical guidance in all aspects of life, including human sexual relations. Marriage is the only permissible channel for sexual relations between the two sexes, and the Quran describes each spouse as clothing for the other, as Allah says:{أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ الصِّيَامِ الرَّفَثُ إِلَى نِسَائِكُمْ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ} [البقرة: 187]
Sexual relations are strictly forbidden outside the bounds of a marriage contract and incur worldly and afterlife punishments.
Thus, Islamic law prescribes severe punishments for sexual crimes such as adultery, sodomy, rape, and deviance; to create a safe and sound society free from diseases; Allah says: {الزَّانِيَةُ وَالزَّانِي فَاجْلِدُوا كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ مِّنْهُمَا مِائَةَ جَلْدَةٍ وَلاَ تَأْخُذْكُم بِهِمَا رَأْفَةٌ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ إِن كُنتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ وَلْيَشْهَدْ عَذَابَهُمَا طَائِفَةٌ مِّنَ المُؤْمِنِينَ} [النور: 2].
In a previous international conference on crime held in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, the head of a delegation from a highly civilized country began enumerating the millions of crimes committed in their country annually, as well as the number of crimes committed per minute and second. When he finished, the head of the host country's delegation mentioned three cases of murder and about ten cases of theft, while other crimes such as rape were absent. The first speaker interjected in surprise, asking: 'What has made crimes so rare in your country?' The second speaker replied: 'Our laws are not man-made but rather come from Above, and these are the fruits. As for your laws, they are of your own making, and this is the difference between us.
The Islamic foundations and regulations for sex education
Islam has established foundations and regulations to protect both the individual and society, and has enacted laws that prevent people from deviating. It has forbidden co-mingling, imposed hijab, and called for lowering the gaze.
1-Among these regulations is the control of modern media. Satellite channels and the internet, or the World Wide Web, are the latest means of communication to enter the family in recent times. Although they have many positive aspects, their negatives have outweighed their positives due to the misuse of this service by family members, especially many husbands and children. This has led to what is known as internet addiction, where many people spend most of their time after work or school in front of the computer, surfing the web. More dangerously, it has become a window that has opened the eyes of Muslims and their children to a flood of corruption, immorality, pornography in provocative films, and sinful and cheap relationships. This plague has spread widely and deeply, and has turned what they call "acting" into a tool and means to spread vice, debauchery, and obscenity, raising Muslim generations on the values of bad examples represented by actors and actresses who, with insistence and effort, lead the nation and the youth to destruction.
"2. Avoiding Stimuli: Parents and guardians of adolescents should shield them from anything that leads to arousal. This includes monitoring their use of the internet and satellite television, and guiding them towards reading any knowledge that directs them to what is right, especially engaging with the Book of Allah and studying worldly sciences that benefit the nation, instead of drowning in the reading of lewd stories, films that go beyond the limits of decency, and magazines that publish provocative images in clubs and beaches under the name of civilization, progress, modernity, and openness!
3. Wearing the hijab for girls: It protects the girl from harm and sexual harassment, and protects the young man from temptation. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'I have not left behind me any fitnah (trial) more harmful to men than women.'
4. Prohibiting seclusion and mixing between men and women: Islam has forbidden entering the homes of non-mahram women to block the means of temptation and the whispers of the devil. Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'Let none of you be alone with a woman, for the devil is the third of them.' 5. Lowering the gaze: It is a noble moral trait and an attempt to overcome the desire to look at beauty and attractions. It also closes the first window of temptation and deviation, and is a practical attempt to prevent the arrival of the poisoned arrow. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'The glance is an arrow from the arrows of the devil, poisoned. Whoever leaves it out of fear of Me, I will replace it for him with faith whose sweetness he will find in his heart.
"6. Early Marriage: Here, the role of the family and the state becomes evident in fortifying the youth. Unfortunately, statistics show an undesirable reluctance and delay in marriage rates in some Arab countries. Early marriage is the best way to avoid immorality for those who can afford marriage, in fulfillment of the Prophet's saying (peace be upon him): 'O young men, whoever among you can afford marriage, let him marry, for it is more likely to lower the gaze and guard the private parts. And whoever cannot, then let him fast, for it is a shield for him.' (Bukhari and Muslim). Other etiquettes include: adhering to the etiquette of Islam, staying away and being wary of falling into what Allah has forbidden. The successful one is the one whom Allah guides. Frankly, the topic is long and has many branches, but this reference is sufficient, and what cannot be fully grasped should not be completely abandoned.
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